(HUGE disclaimer this is my own opinion, this blog is not to upset anyone. But to simply start promoting real self-care and being able to understand the difference between burn-out and coming to terms; with your need of an organized schedule and a clear vision of where you see yourself in the next couple of months.)
Personally I have always been the type of person that loves helping people. For a long time I would put others problems before my own. I would do it because I liked the joy it would bring me. Some people would be eternally grateful for the little things and it brought me bliss. Helping others fills an important place in the mind and it opens doors. I have met some wonderful people in my life thanks to helping. If you find yourself in a place where you have the capability of helping others then you should. Now here is where things get complicated, if you stop taking yourself into consideration and put your own priorities to the side to help others you begin to damage yourself. You cannot put YOU to the side to meet someone else’s goals because then how will you build yours? You begin to lose track of your needs, your goals, and you waste all your energy on the other individual. Helping others is ok in moderation but when it’s all you do you lose sight of your aspirations. You stop working on the things that matter to you. And eventually what used to make you feel bliss now gives you anxiety and a sense of guilt if you say no.
In this life, our future lies within our own hands, and of course we receive help along the way but ultimately YOU pave your own path with your choices. If you’ve been paying attention up to this point then you’ve noticed that the cons are definitely out weighing the pros. You are also probably thinking well fuck helping any one else I should just be an egoistic human. This is not entirely true though because if we took a second to picture the life of someone who only helps themselves they are equally as miserable. You have no friends, you are alone, and your perception of life is lacking experience and perspective.
It is possible to have it all in life just not at the same time. Being balanced is the way to go. The pros of helping others are that you are selflessly opening opening doors, making relationships, and feeding the soul. The cons of helping others are that you lose time from your investments, it becomes expected, and you feel helpless when you can’t contribute appropriately.
The fact is that there is no right answer to when you should or shouldn’t help others but you should aim to participate in a balanced equation of both. You should also have no expectations when you do help. Meaning that, helping others does not guarantee you a loyal friend or a helping hand when your stuck in a ditch. Minimize expectations from the things you cannot control such as other people’s actions and you’ll minimize disappointment.
Love yourself and treat others with kindness!
Ta-Ta Little Humans